Why my car service is The Worst

So, last Saturday night, when I realized I was running late to Kelly's birthday (#1 of 2 birthday parties I was going to that night) so I called the car service and asked how much a ride to Williamsburg would be. $12 or whatever it was sounded fine so they headed over, and I jumped in the cab saying, "North 6th and Berry in Williamsburg!" and then busied myself on my phone. So then what happened next maybe I would have noticed it had I not been on the phone, but really, it didn't matter.




I'm providing a map for those of you who don't know NYC well. Just know, I live in Queens. Williamsburg is a neighborhood in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is a borough directly south of me. Across the East River from both Queens and Brooklyn is Manhattan. Y'know, the place with all the buildings. There are a number of bridges that connect Brooklyn to Manhattan, one of which is the Williamsburg Bridge, named such, because it sorta starts in Williamsburg? And then it goes to Manhattan? Got it?

Basically what this idiot did was jump on the exit for the bridge to Manhattan.


I looked up just in time to see the "You're leaving Brooklyn; Oy vey!" sign and see that I was over water and I was like "What are you doing?! Where are we going?!"
Him: "We go to Williamsburg!!"
Me: "We're going to Manhattan!!!"
Him: (scoffs) "You never been to Williamsburg?? You don't know how to go??"
Me: "WE ARE GOING TO MANHATTAN. WILLIAMSBURG IS IN BROOKLYN."
(we come off the bridge and drive west on Delancey Street, now firmly in Manhattan)
Him: "This is Williamsburg!! You don't know Williamsburg?!"
Me: "DO YOU?? Williamsburg is a neighborhood in BROOKLYN, you took me to THE WRONG BOROUGH."
Him: (continues to scoff) "No, no, not Brooklyn!!"

I then called the dispatcher and put him on speaker and went, "Out of curiosity sir, where is Williamsburg? Is it Manhattan or Brooklyn?" "Brooklyn!" "Well your driver just took me to MANHATTAN. We're on Delancey Street!" "What! You wanted to go to Delancey?" "NO YOUR DRIVER DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING" the dispatcher was like, aw man, and got off the phone with me to call the driver. At this point, we just kept moving further and further away from the bridge... but there was no U-turning anyway because of the traffic. And then it occurred to me I didn't want to depend on this idiot to drive me anywhere so while we were at a red light I just got out without paying him (i threw a couple of dollars and THAT was too much, in hindsight), and flagged down a taxi who took me to Williamsburg. In Brooklyn.

So that is why I hate my car service.

MegaCon: simple & to the point

Really, these photos pretty much sum up Orlando's MegaCon.







Actually, there were a shitload of teenagers leading each other around by these stupid leashes, but I didn't get any photos of that. So just pretend there's a photo of some unhygienic dipshit 14 year olds with chains around their necks, holding "FREE HUG" signs and stuffing their faces full of soft pretzel from the concession stand.

Tabloids Pt II

Damned if I didn't call it. In a post dated November 4th, 2008 (where I shared my favorite, creepy tabloid covers documenting their sick obsession with celebrity babies) I said, "the idea of Shilo and Suri cavorting together is OK's biggest possible wetdream"



YAY IT'S JUST LIKE IN MY FAN FICTION