Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Tabloids.

Here are some truths, things that stubbornly refuse to change, no matter how much you may want them to.

Tabloids have a creepy and unsettling obsession with babies. OK Magazine and US Weekly seem to exist only to deliver to us the innermost thoughts and desires of the most celebrated babies of our time. Also, OK Magazine offers the absolute worst airbrushed covers in the industry.


They look like terrifying porcelain dolls.




My personal favorite.


It's important to note these are separate photos of the two girls, but obviously, the idea of Shilo and Suri cavorting together is OK's biggest possible wetdream.


Now, this one is special in its own way. Number one, look at the amount of airbrushing gone into Shilo's face. Really? Really? You actually had to airbrush flaws from a baby's face? You had to make her skin and features smoother? Really? Now, aside from that... "Kissing and cuddling her baby doll and sleeping in her big girl bed?" Either Maddox is a mole, there are some OK Magazine owned hidden cameras, or someone has a RIDICULOUS FUCKING OBSESSION to come up with these INANE DETAILS. Oh, and guess who it is! YOU people who read this crap and lap it up. I mean, REALLY? This is front page news? The SUPPOSED WANTS AND DESIRES OF A TWO YEAR OLD? Are you KIDDING me? For God's sake, Patrick Swayze's recovery from cancer takes a backseat to somebody's bizarro fan fiction. I'd rather hear Jen tell us again why she's over Brad.

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